I once saw a meme about the novels of three countries. In the UK, their great novel’s plot is to go to a party to find true love; in Germany, finding yourself in the forest. Russia, on the other hand, asks us to go to the very depths of despair, find an even deeper level, and then go there. They’re very austere, and perhaps that makes it appropriate that Mikhail chose that name…
One day, while Colin was visiting in the Southern Cone, he suggested we share our worst fears. I said I was afraid of finding that all my efforts were a loss. Desmond, losing his loved ones. When it was Marian’s turn, he ordered her, “Don’t say ‘God’ or ‘Hell,’ girl.” The youth thought for a few seconds, and then answered: “I’m afraid of doing something awful, and then dying without feeling sorry.”
“That doesn’t count, that’s Hell.”
“And why isn’t it fear of ending as a bad person?”
“Ugh, it’s not worth fighting over. Mikhail! It’s your turn.”
“Laying my soul bear, and realizing I hate everything in it,” he said.
We all looked at him, and I don’t know what Marian thought. With that, our chat was over. Although Desmond didn’t say so, now I suppose Mikhail cheated. Isn’t that the essence of Hell? It’s, I think, the greatest possible depth of despair. With a single fear, Mikhail summarized the great Russian novel.
What say you?